[18] The Police, ‘Message In A Bottle’

“Sending out a nesso ess”. The lad really needed to sort out his diction. And that Jamaican accent was fooling no one – I mean, have you ever seen a whiter man? His only competition was, erm, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers.

The most hated man in pop? Even Paul Weller – hardly Mr Popular himself – spat at a picture of Sting backstage at the Royal Albert Hall recently. Does he get a tough rap? There’s no doubting he’s conceited, but really everyone’s just jealous of Sting and his month-long mating rituals. And the zillion records sold. And the fact he still cuts a dashing figure in middle-age.

Of course, it’s possible that people simply hate his music but a) check out those zillion units and b) come on, some of it’s been smart. ‘Message In A Bottle’ was a monument from the minute it was released. Edgy, memorable, carrying universal appeal around in bags, it’s a classic pop moment in a year brimming with them. Like so many greats, it even has a massively clunky metaphor at its heart.

Junior wielded the plastic Stratocaster throughout, showing her credentials as a proto-Hendrix by imploring me to watch her playing it with her chin. Face it – you’re impressed just reading about it.

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6 thoughts on “[18] The Police, ‘Message In A Bottle’

  1. Sting’s daughter went to my school. She bought my brother in a slave auction. I’m not sure those statements should really go together.

  2. All this suggests to me is Bingo L is a big fan of James Blunt.

    When I said Sting was middle-aged, Heather, I meant “in the first flush of youth”.

    Katja – well well well. Sting advocating slavery, you say? How does that sit with his world-saving convictions?

  3. Mr. Paul Weller can’t be slagged off by Sting. The Modfather himself is more meaningful and ACTUALLY shows a socialist opinion. Sting is reasonably mediocre compared to Weller, as Sting was literally more famous because of his drowny, quiet voice, whereas Weller was and is purposefully non-famous because of his lack of want for money and praise. Weller is clearly better in his own right, whereas Sting (I’m sorry) is quite small-minded and boring (again, sorry!)

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