There’s been room for a lot of Kate Bush in Ciara’s year. The album’s probably top of the pile, and a cute cover of her ‘Hounds Of Love’ is kicking at the door of the top ten singles. The “oh ah oh”s are talking Junior’s language too, and the legs are whirling again. She either had a particularly good night’s sleep or guitar bands are turning out to be her bag. If it’s the latter, the next 10 will be rich with disappointment. Apart from No.10. Ooh, the anticipation.
2005 Top 20 Singles
[12] Hal, ‘Play The Hits’
That’s what we’re doing, Hal people. Although I don’t think this was a hit, so it’s an early lesson in irony for Junior. It’s a hit in our living room, mind you, fuelling vigorous leg-kicks and arm-waves. And that’s not just Junior’s mum. It’s one of those West Coast sun-kissed 70s-style pop beauties that no one makes anymore, except for everyone from Josh Rouse to Teenage Fanclub via the Magic Numbers. And it’s pretty special.
[13] Gwen Stefani, ‘Cool’
Gwen’s hit us with annoying yet catchy singles all year, but this is the sweetest, the most sedate. It’s that age-old tale- boy and girl split up, boy meets other girl, boy and girl don’t have a problem with each other as long as neither has too much to drink one night, maybe. All set to an arrangement that would slip seamlessly onto the soundtrack of St Elmo’s Fire or The Breakfast Club. There’s a wistful look in Junior’s eyes, but it only says that breakfast is overdue.
[14] Will Young, ‘Switch It On’
Junior fixes Young with a Paddington Bear stare, “Whatchu talking about, Willis?”. I’m not sure he knows himself. It could be a bit rude, it could be a confessional about the rigours of fame, it could be an excuse to dress up like Maverick and make eyes at Goose. What we do know is it’s a cracking little blast of a record. Junior thinks it’s dangerously Bo Diddley, but Will’s such a pleasant young man that she’ll let it pass.
[15] Charlotte Church, ‘Crazy Chick’
This was never cool, has lyrics that Junior herself could’ve had a stab at and sounds like plenty of other songs, but La Church will not be denied. She brings her own brand of sass to the rundown and, let’s be honest, it’s a bit of a belter. Sounds best with a Marlboro Light in one hand and a Cheeky Vimto in the other, but Junior’s not 12 yet.
[16] LCD Soundsystem, ‘Daft Punk Is Playing At My House’
“‘Daft Punk Is Playing At My House’ is playing at my house.” Not a flicker. Junior will appreciate her dad’s jokes one day. It took me a decade or so to finally realise that my old man’s dry quips were the stuff of legend. I think she enjoys the record but her mum finds it forgettable, twice asking what it is. Indeed, does anyone remember LCD Soundsystem now? They were cool in February. Anyone?
[17] Ciara featuring Missy Elliott, ‘1, 2 Step’
This is Ciara’s year, we just live in it. Junior is puzzled to see her dad try to sing along with what the nice lady is saying, but you can see she wants to get up and dance. The song has a minimalism to it that wouldn’t take much effort to move with. She could do those press-ups that she practises on her mat before rolling over and doing that slightly astonished face before she sees that her mum is smiling. Missy Elliott could try that in the next video. I’m not entirely sure she hasn’t already.
[18] Amerie, ‘1 Thing’
It’s all stop-start crash-bang with this song, and that’s the cue for something to get a hammering. Junior is back in the bouncy chair, holding the toy bee that can be attached to things. As Amerie wails and slides over the guitars and beats, the bee is shaken up and down and smashed against the side of the chair before involuntarily flying off out of sight. No doubting this is a hit. As for Amerie, it just sounds like a lazy talker saying Anne-Marie. That doesn’t go down well round here.
[19] Snoop Dogg featuring Charlie Wilson & Justin Timberlake, ‘Signs’
This was a big hit in utero, so I’m expecting some outlandish reactions. But smiles will do. And yes, it’s a Snoop Dogg record, not a Timberlake one as some mothers believe. It might’ve finished higher in this chart, instead it’s one of those tunes that diminishes over time – a sit-up-and-listener when you first hear it but, by the time it’s over, you’re staring at the Christmas tree.
[20] Gorillaz featuring De La Soul, ‘Feel Good Inc.’
Junior’s grinning at me before I’ve even stepped away from the stereo, and by the time De La Soul start their “laughing gas” cackles she’s in bits. Posdnuos, Trugoy and Mace first came to Junior’s attention when she was minus 16 and twinkling in the corner of her dad’s eye by the municipal outdoor pool in Berkhamsted. She stuck with them through the jazz period and the frankly boring albums period, and is delighted to see them return to the fore as ciphers to Albarn’s cartoon characters.
Jukebox Junior 