[17] H two O featuring Platnum, ‘What’s It Gonna Be?’

H two O featuring Platnum

At the ripe old age of thirtysomething, I’m not supposed to keep up with these new-fangled genres that populate the latest ringtones at the back of the bus – but, somehow, I almost do. This song, along with any number of staggeringly poor and derivative Basshunter hits that have clogged up The Box’s screen-time this year, is an example of that latest pop’n’roll craze, Bassline. Now, it seems to me that Bassline is UK Garage with added Europap, but what do I know? What matters is H two O (crazy name) and their mates Platnum (possibly crazier) made one of the sweetest little pop nuggets of the year. That it appears to be fuelled by a full jar of Kenco (or maybe something a touch edgier – again, who am I to ask?) only adds to the charm.

What we’re dealing with here is uninhibited joy, mixed with those teen fears that the object of those funny feelings in your tummy is not burning with the same ardour. These worries are soon swept aside when the boy and girl start exchanging cuddly words in cute street (Sesame) accents before bursting into yet another ecstatic chorus. It makes me want to dance, but there’s not a ghost of a chance that I’d be able to keep up – thankfully Junior is on hand to go bananas for the entire ferociously fast three minutes; turning circles around her sister and leaving me panting by the stereo, trying to look as if I get it.