[17] Ariana Grande feat. Iggy Azalea, ‘Problem’


The most alarming thing about this is Junior 2 knows all of Iggy Azalea’s rap. Second most alarming thing is that this is Iggy’s second appearance on our chart, and Junior knows this, pointing out that she’s “rapping in that other song”. I suppose when you butcher your vowels quite like that, you’re pretty unmistakable.

For the girls, Ariana Grande is fairly anonymous – and however great her voice is, however good she looks, however ubiquitous on our screens (telly or otherwise) she is, that’s Grande all the way. Star quality isn’t everyone saying you’re a star. Still, ‘Problem’ has balls and what we’re obliged to call ‘sass’. Because it has horns, basically. Funky sass. Free your mind and your sass will follow.

[19] Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX, ‘Fancy’


I’ve got a bit of a love/hate relationship with this one. Clearly it’s as irritating as a mohair codpiece but, more beneficially, it slams you up against the wall with the full force of its stark bullishness. Iggy crunks, jerks, drawls and brags while Charli XCX comes up with another undeniable nursery rhyme chorus, and we all go home a little shaken.

The girls over here are trying to place who it is. “Katy Perry,” says the four-year-old. “Is the rap will.i.am?” asks Junior. I’ve no idea what’s going on there. “Oh, she says Iggy in that other song,” she adds. Anyway, they all agree it’s “good” and perfectly fine for a dad to have it on his iPod. I mean, I wasn’t worried about that but you know how snobbish these kids get.