[10] Emeli Sandé, ‘Heaven’

Emeli Sandé

“Will you recognise ME?” Sure. You’re that Shara Nelson, aren’t you?

Bit of satire there, ladeezangennelmen. Junior seems to know all the words to this one already – which is more than we can say about ‘Unfinished Sympathy’ because I never play it, having absolutely KILLED it in 1991. It left a grimy fingerprint on the stereo along with Screamadelica, Eg & Alice’s ‘Indian’, Jesus Loves You’s ‘Bow Down Mister’ and Jellyfish’s Bellybutton. And, let’s face facts, The Milltown Brothers’ debut album.

Junior asks if she’s English, obviously, but of course Sandé couldn’t be less English if she was Neptunian. She’s Scottish and let’s say that she caresses ‘Heaven’ with that peculiar Scots soul passion, ranking alongside Sharleen Spiteri, Lorraine McIntosh, Marti Pellow, Pat Kane, Lulu and, er, Maria McKee. On firmer ground, the beats are terrific and the strings – ahem – sympathetic. That Critics’ Choice BRIT will look lovely in her palm.

[12] Deacon Blue, ‘Dignity’

Bear with me, Raintown was a good album for all its vanity and overarching straight-facedness. Everyone hated Ricky and Lorraine though, didn’t they? Things got worse when he grew a bob and she grabbed more vocals.

Not a hit with Junior, this. Her reactions were a little sluggish after staying up to watch Celebrity Big Brother last night, and it would have taken more than the aspirations of a Scotch binman to wrest her from her torpor.

This is another of those records that I clearly liked more 19 years ago. Not quite as inexplicable as the next one, but overblown and ’80s as it gets.