ricky ross

[12] Deacon Blue, ‘Dignity’

Bear with me, Raintown was a good album for all its vanity and overarching straight-facedness. Everyone hated Ricky and Lorraine though, didn’t they? Things got worse when he grew a bob and she grabbed more vocals.

Not a hit with Junior, this. Her reactions were a little sluggish after staying up to watch Celebrity Big Brother last night, and it would have taken more than the aspirations of a Scotch binman to wrest her from her torpor.

This is another of those records that I clearly liked more 19 years ago. Not quite as inexplicable as the next one, but overblown and ’80s as it gets.

[18] Labi Siffre, ‘(Something Inside) So Strong’

This record ended Apartheid.

It’s also used by advertising frippers to sell stuff to us, which I don’t think is the point at all. Faced with this song, we have to adopt worthy poses and wring our hands. Junior and I try this for a bit, but we soon lapse into pat-a-cake. We weren’t prepared for serious records when counting down the 1987 chart. Things will get right back on track next time, when we dust off our Michael Hutchence jokes, although I appear to have forgotten the fab new one I made up the other day.

‘(Something Inside) So Strong’ isn’t a bad tune, it’s just tainted by memories of the politically correct, cause-fixated ’80s. Gives it a pomposity it might not have otherwise – well, maybe – and we all like to prick that bubble.

But let’s not bandy the “pompous” adjective around too cheaply, with Mick Hucknall and Ricky Ross still to come.

Before we have to face that fear, though, there are lots of boys with guitars and big teased hair and make-up and Bass Things.